Stages and Struggles. Performing with a Disability.

People see the performance, the mic, they hear the  words, feel the the delivery. They don’t see the fight it takes to even reach the stage. For me, performing poetry isn’t just about what happens in the spotlight, it’s about everything it takes to get there.

Living with multiple sclerosis means nothing comes simple. The journey to a venue takes planning. Will it be accessible? How many steps are there? Is there somewhere I can sit before going on? These are questions most performers never have to ask, but they shape my every gig. Just getting from the car to the mic stand can feel like a battle in itself.

By the time I step on stage, I’ve already fought through fatigue that makes my body heavy, pain that never quite leaves, and the constant fear that my body might let me down in front of a crowd. People might see me standing there with confidence, but the truth is, that confidence comes after climbing mountains no one else can see.

Each performance is like carrying weight on my shoulders. The lights are hot, the adrenaline kicks in, and MS doesn’t disappear just because the audience is listening. My legs might be weak, my energy running low, but I’ve learned to channel all of it into the words. Every verse, every pause, every raw piece I deliver is me refusing to let disability silence me.

It would be easier not to do it. Easier to say, “I can’t handle the effort,” and stay home. But performing is more than just sharing poems! It’s my way of fighting back. It’s my reminder to myself that MS can slow me down but it won’t take my voice.

That’s why I keep going. Each time I climb those steps, grip that mic, and speak my truth, I’m proving something bigger than the poem itself. I’m proving that the stage isn’t off limits to people like me. I’m proving that disability doesn’t mean invisibility and most of all, I’m proving to myself that no matter how heavy it feels, I’ll always find a way to stand in that light.

Performing at The Orchard, Newquay