We have MS

I don't remember the scenario but, my husband made the comment that "we have MS".

I have been diagnosed, he has not, nor does he have MS symptoms.

This comment made me pause and ponder his statement. I have realized that my diagnosis, not only affects me, it affects nearly everyone I come in contact with with but, MS impacts my family and close friends profoundly. The people I encounter at the store, I walk slower, become off balanced, and occasionally fall. (I'm sure I have been the topic of conversation at some strangers dinner table). I'm sure that I annoy some, with my hesitancy and taking time to pick out something from the store shelves, reading the labels, and walking in the middle of the isle. I'm sure some think I'm drunk, feel sorry for me, and some who think I'm just inconsiderate and arrogant.

My healthcare providers are affected. If your anything like me, what I experience, I often think it is just me? So they get calls and messages through the portal often. I'm also my biggest advocate and we need to be proactive.

My friends. I often back out of occasions at the last minute, require transportation, so they have to pick me up or take me home.

My co-workers. Trying to explain why sometimes I just don't have the energy that I sometimes do. While generally I'm social and try to make work fun, there are times I don't have the energy to pretend that I'm doing well.

My children. My boys are grown but I can only imagine what it must be like for a child to explain to their friends that their mom has MS and the questions that are likely asked. I assume there are times that they are embarrassed. If your children are younger and want to play and it is a day that you have no "get up", I can't imagine them trying to grasp this concept. I think that children have to grow up a bit faster because they are exposed to circumstances that others are not. The additional chores and driving mom around as they are older.

My family. This has been a difficult and ongoing situation for me because MS is not discussed. (Almost as if it doesn't exist, not understanding why I cant keep up as I used to).

It can't be easy to explain your child has MS, trying to research what MS and its affects, taking you to appointments, etc. If you have siblings there is that impact. My husband, where this all started has the most profound affect.

My MS has had just as much impact on him as it has me. He may not be able to feel the physical symptoms that I experience but I know he sees it and empathizes because he can't fix it. He has to accommodate his schedule to take me to appts, go shopping, take me to a friends, etc.

He has the extra responsibilities of the household when I just can't do something or the things I can no longer do. It's automatic that he has to take out the trash, which is a distance to our street from the house. Anything that requires heights, getting things on the top shelves, helping me change the bed sheets, picking up anything heavy, opening jars, carrying in the majority of the groceries, and so much more.

He has to deal with my roller coaster of emotions.

There are some things that people have no idea how much his life has changed because of my diagnosis. I sometimes need help taking a shower, combing my hair, lifting my leg up (by the end of the day), putting away the glass dishes on a bad day. My husband experiences the effects of MS.

I think that so often our friends, family, whomever is our support system is not recognized for what they are going through, and the thanks they deserve.

Whenever I start to feel down I remember we are all going through something.

Whether it be personally or due to our significant others, we never know what someone is going through personally or as the support person.

So thank your loved ones and remember how they have invested in this disease as you, just only in a different way.

Jan Janisch-Hanzlik

MS with Moxie