It will not define me

The MonSter lurks beneath my skin,

A silent war I didn’t begin.

It steals in shadows, strikes unseen,

A life once whole, now caught between.

Fatigue like chains I cannot shake,

Each breath a mountain I must take.

Brain fog rolls in, thick and slow,

Where did my words, my focus go?

The MS hug — a vise around

My ribs and chest, no easing found.

Blurred vision clouds the light of day,

And sometimes sight just fades away.

Spasms twist with cruel delight,

Jolts that jar me through the night.

My temperature swings, a wild tide,

No comfort there on either side.

Headaches pulse in pounding waves,

And sleep? A gift that never stays.

Nerve pain sparks with every beat,

A fire burning at my feet.

Some parts of me too sore to touch,

A whisper hurts, a breeze too much.

Tingling trails where numbness spread,

Alive, yet lifeless, limb to head.

Dizziness spins the room around,

My balance lost without a sound.

My thoughts drift off, my memory stalls,

Each step a climb, each word that falls.

Bladder fails without a cue,

Another shame I must walk through.

The MonSter waits behind each day,

To twist, confuse, to chip away.

It wants to write my name in pain,

To make my loss its final gain.

But though it claws and pulls and breaks,

It doesn't get to choose what makes—

Me.

I am the strength inside the fight.

The stubborn spark that stays alight.

I am the voice that still speaks true.

The soul that rises, bruised, but new.

MS may shape the path I tread,

But it won't own the life I've led.

The MonSter's real, but so am I—

And I decide my battle cry.

It will not define me.

Not today.

Not ever.

Written by Kat Coles 5.7.2025