Am I Happy?

Am I happy?

People have said to me:

You always look on the bright side!

I don't know if I'd be as positive!

You're always so happy!

Am I happy?

Am I happy that I can't walk without a stick, crutches or a rollator?

At least I can still walk a little.

Am I happy that I can't walk far.

At least my Blue Badge helps.

Am I happy that I keep falling over?

At least I have had lots of practice.

Am I happy that I am now deemed not fit to work?

At least I don't have to get up for work.

Am I happy that I have a catheter and piss in a bag?

At least I don't piss myself anymore.

Am I happy that I have lost my dignity?

At least I am comfortable to talk about these things openly. (Even if you're not).

Am I happy that I forget words in the middle of a ...?

At least there are a plethora of words to forget. And it'll come back to me at some random point.

Am I happy that I forget a task as soon as I'm told?

At least I can blame it on being a man.

Am I happy that I can't box with my boy any more?

At least I have an excuse for him beating me, now he's 6ft 3.

Am I happy that I can't play rugby any more?

At least it isn't the game that makes me ache and hurt now.

Am I happy that I often wake at 3 or 4 in the morning and can't get back to sleep?

At least it gives me more time to read.

Am I happy that some days I just can't get out of bed?

At least I don't have to get up 3 or 4 times in the middle of the night to go to the toilet any more. Remember the bag.

There's always a positive.

...STANZA.

I knew the word would come back to me. I suppose I could have used SENTENCE or VERSE. Or at a stretch a STAVE, a STROPHE or a CANTO. See, a plethora of words.

Am I happy?

I'd say so.

Why...should I not be?

Am I Happy? Tris Rowles